Sadly, unlike most normal people my New Year’s Resolutions don’t have anything to do with getting fit or de-toxing (although they should, they should) but almost entirely relate to my use of the vice that is social media. I blame Henry Elliss totally for luring me into this dark world a year ago with promises that the addiction would lessen over time (no sign of that so far). It was while sharing with him my thoughts on my resolutions that I thought I’d share them with all of you. Here they are, warts and all!
I will be quicker off the mark de-tagging unflattering photos of me, especially after Tamar events (but at the same time I will stop threatening to fire anyone who posts them in the first place).
I will not sit blogging in a hotel room in Shanghai about the Chinese government’s censorship of the internet on the same day my lawyers had told me to be careful not to say anything to upset anyone while we are setting up our Chinese subsidiary. Thanks Henry for stopping me getting arrested .
I will NOT use song lyrics as status updates ever again, I’ve got crap taste in music anyway so it’s not as if they’re witty or obscure. I think we can all live without another rendition of Shalimar & The Whispers.
I will stop obsessing about my profile pic not being ironic/enigmatic/sexy enough and changing it every 5 minutes by over-use of my iPhone’s mobile uploads feature.
I will *remember* who all my facebook friends are and not write caustic status updates about wanting to stab my ex-husband that his friends and family can see. Ooops.
I will not accept as a friend someone I’ve only been on a couple of dates with thereby ruining my mystique far too early in the game by giving them access to 100′s of unflattering photos of me and sight of my wall with its postings suggesting I have no social life and stay in every night playing with facebook.
I will not snoop around the pages of people I’ve only been on a few dates with and discover/see things about them I’d really rather not know. Although as Henry helpfully pointed out if I’d done this a bit earlier on in a recent case it might have saved a lot of time and trouble. Membership of groups devoted to the delights of taking illegal hardcore drugs, new photos featuring tonsil hockey with a different woman every week, the clues were all there Sherlock.
I will stop already with the downloading of endless apps telling me what fruit/rainbow colour/dessert I am. Do I really need to know that “I am profiteroles”? Does anyone who reads my page need to know that? No, I thought not.
I will stop seeing it as a badge of honour that I score more highly on the ‘addicted to facebook’ app than anyone else I know and join a 12 step addiction programme and get a life!
There you go. Promised you warts and all.
I’ve been thinking a lot recently about the double-edged sword that is social media and my resolutions definitely reflect this. If facebook had been around when I was a bit younger there would have been a lot of material floating around which would have made it hard for me to through the neccessary but painful process of growing up without having my mistakes made public. I’ve learned some things about people last year that I’m not sure it was helpful for me to me know and all because of social media. If you’re not vigilant about your page you open yourself totally to public scrutiny and humiliation and it’s the youngest users who need to know this most of all.
On the whole though I can’t say I regret the advent of social media. It’s absolutely designed for someone like me – fascinated by people in all their many guises, warts and all. The cynical might say ‘nosey’ of course. But my New Year’s Resolutions reflect my desire in 2008 to be a bit more judicious in its use. To detox if you will after my social media binge last year.
But I’m not entirely sure I can keep to my promise about song lyrics. Not when there’s the entire back-catalogue of Led Zeppelin to get through….Tweet